He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
