hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
