I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
