Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You smell like stripper and shame
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
