I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
