dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
