I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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