Plan B is the new Plan A
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
