the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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