Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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