apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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