my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
