This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize