Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
