So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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