I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
