Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
