Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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