No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
