have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
