To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
