Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize