Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
