is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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