i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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