yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
