Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
