He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
