If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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