whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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