so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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