Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
