I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
