Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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