Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
MIDGETS
????
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
