Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
