This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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