I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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