He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
