You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
