I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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