i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
