Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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