Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
