But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
