Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
