We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
