I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
