oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
