I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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