You're completely useless in the revolution.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
