I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
