Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My vagina is officially offended.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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