i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
