I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
