i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
im holly from the hills drunk
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
