dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
