You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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