he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
