I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
