my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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