My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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