Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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