After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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