I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
