She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
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