i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
only if we run a train.
done.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
wow bdsm is so cute
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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