and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize