yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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