I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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