you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
