i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Panties = found
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