What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
