carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
