all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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