She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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