I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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