do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
